Demons Are Hard To Be Rid Of
by Lady Venom2
Summary: (FINISHED!)Donatello and Rowan seek Splinters approval, but Rowan is finding it hard to leave the past behind her.{3rd in the Rowan series}
1. Demons Are Hard To Be Rid Of

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Demons Are Hard To Be Rid Of

Note:_ Okay everyone, here it is, the third installment of the Rowan series, this is going to be another three chapter one, then I have the Valentine story to write, but first, I needed this one to explain a few things. Also, because my beta reader wishes to remain anonymous I will simply say thank you is never enough because you really made some great points! Hope you all like the story!_

Disclaimer: I own Rowan, Charlie and the plot, nothing more, probably less.

~*~

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Donatello led Rowan down the stairs, much to her annoyance.

"Don, come on, just because I'm a cripple doesn't mean you have to baby me!" She took her hand away from his to prove that she could stand on her own two feet (so to speak). Though wobbling precariously, she still refused Don's helping hand when he offered it to her. She diverted her attention away from her self appointed nursemaid to watch her son speed down the stairs in a race to beat them to the bottom.

Finally getting her balance, "There, see! I'm fine; you needn't worry so much. Why don't you go and join Charlie at the bottom, I'm sure he wants to see you."

Don gave her a worried look but complied, leaving her to maneuver the last flight of stairs alone. She watched him go and knew that he meant well, but sometimes his love was a little overwhelming. 

__

Only two weeks, it's only been two weeks since New Years. And somehow, even April knew when she came back what had happened Of course all thanks to those snitches of brothers he has! And why do I suddenly feel like such a teenager again! She caught herself smiling, liking the fact that she had been doing that more often lately. _Face it girl, you're head over heels._

Reaching the bottom she accepted Donatellos' outstretched hand, using her other hand to grasp herson's firmly as they left for the alleyway. They were going to see Splinter, Rowan was nervous because the last time she had been down in the lair was the night Jake had attacked he

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You can do it; he's dead, gone, kaput. And this is really important to him, so suck it up and get it over with. Meeting a significant other's parent was always nerve wracking. But when you already know them, it can be much worse because your imagination can play out a multitude of scenarios from what you can remember.

Donatello sensed her unease and pulled her close.

"Everything will be fine, I promise." Digging inside his trench coat he pulled out a medium sized book and handed it to her. "Here, I thought for the rest of your visit we could start on you English. Have you ever read Shakespeare?"

"Shakespeare? I saw a few movies about him. He's a writer, isn't he?"

Don chuckled softly. "The best there ever was."

"Was? You mean he's dead?"

"For about five hundred years Ro'."

Rowan didn't answer, instead choosing to look at the book; the cover had a man with a donkey head and women with wings all around him.

"I thought we could start with Midsummer Night's Dream."

"Sounds nice, thanks Donnie. I really appreciate this." Squeezing his hand before letting go to watch him remove the man**hole** cover, she backed up and allowed him to lower Charlie down first, before helping her. Rowan relaxed in his grip, never had she felt so safe around a man before.

~*~

"Hey Ro', glad ya could make it!" Raphael said, coming over to show Charlie what new toy he had scavenged and fixed for him. Rowan watched them, knowing that they were the only ones who were able to see Raph at ease for a time, which always included spoiling her son rotten. Michelangelo or Leonardo would have had too much fun tormenting their more boisterous sibling at his supposed weakness'. 

"Cool! What is it?" Charlie asked, looking at the toy with awe.

"That**,** my friend, is a toy airplane. Watch this!" Taking the plastic model, Raphael wound up the rubber**-**band held propeller and let it soar. Charlie kept his eye on it as he ran around; trying to catch it in case it ran out of gas'.

"Thanks Raph, yet another toy I'll have to _play_ with him." Rowan complained good naturedly.

Raphael shrugged at Rowan's groan with amusement, giving her a mischievous and evil grin. Rolling her eyes she leaned over to Charlie.

"Charlie, I have something important to ask you."

"What mom?"

She looked over his head at Raphael, a sly smile crossing her lips before continuing.

"I need you to look after Raph for me while Don and I go talk with Splinter. Do you think you can do that for me sweetie?"

A serious look came over Charlie's face as he nodded solemnly. 

"Uh huh! I'll make Raph behave emself!"

Standing up she walked over to where Donatello was waiting, leaving Raphael sputtering indignantly. 

"I don't need lookin' after!" The red banded turtle called out to them, immediately being shushed by his babysitter. 

"Come on, Master Splinter is expecting us." Don said to Rowan

Taking her hand Don led Rowan to a train car that had sheets of sheer drapery layered to make outsiders unable to see inside. Rowan looked at the color effect it made with envy._ A professional decorator would charge a mint for something he didn't even mean to do! Wish I had that kind of talent._ Donatello rapped his knuckles on the door lightly.

There was a pause, then; "You may enter."

Opening the door, Don let go of Rowan's hand in order to drop to his knees out of respect for his father. 

Rowan, prepared for how to behave, followed suit and**,** with slightly less grace, was able to kneel down beside Donatello.

"Master Splinter, as my brothers have no doubt already informed you, Rowan and I have become closer to each other."

Rowan glanced at Donatello, who wasn't quite looking at Splinter, but a few inches below his gaze. Knowing it was bad manners, but unable to resist, Rowan risked a peak at Splinter, and was surprised to see the warmth and love in his eyes.

"We have come here to ask for your approval of our love for each other."

Splinter looked away from his son to Rowan, who quickly averted her eyes to the floor. Lifting a hand, Splinter commanded Rowan to stand before him.

She struggled just a bit to stand up, but once Rowan was vertical, "Yes, Senpai?" 

Earlier, Rowan had asked Leo what she should call Splinter. She wanted to use a term of respect since he was not her sensei or master. Thankfully_, _Leonardo had told her that 'senpai' would do, as it meant some one older and wiser than you that you looked up too.

She could tell that Splinter liked the term.

"My child, look at my son, look past the outer shell and tell me what you see."

Rowan turned her attention back to the turtle who was still on his knees, but even he had turned a curious face up to her. 

"I see a warrior. I see strength and wisdom." She paused as she stared at him thoughtfully, trying to gather all that she could without embarrassing him. _What do I see? I_ "I see a caring soul that, despite his personal obsessions, would put his family above all other things. I see a loving heart." She turned back to Splinter, realizing the reason of this exercise. "I see a future." She turned back to Donatello, and kneeled back down beside him without waiting for a command; knowing in her heart that she had said the right things. 

She watched as Splinter pretended to be deep in thought about something important. _He's he's teasing us!_ She felt a conflict of humor and anger at what Splinter was doing to his son. Knowing that beside her Don was worried sick over what his master was pondering; Rowan was finding it quite funny that Splinter was prolonging something that he already knew the answer _to._

"Stand before me, my son."

Standing, Donatello moved in front of Rowan in order to face his father. Laying a frail hand on his shoulder, Splinter smiled.

"Do you remember the first time Rowan was brought here?"

Donatello nodded his head, unsure of where this was going. He replied obediently, "Rowan was afraid; she bore the scars that no one should ever need to bear."

Rowan felt a pang of anger that Splinter would bring something like that up, but swallowed her rage quickly, not wanting either to sense her sudden change of mood.

"You came to me that night, confused. Do you remember the question you asked?" The rat tilted his head just a little as he waited for his son to reply..

Slowly, Donatello answered as he repeated a question about her that Rowan was hearing for the first time, "I asked you why anyone would want to stay with someone who they know would hurt them."

Splinter nodded, "You asked me Why anyone would want to put themselves through such torture?' And I now ask that you forgive me for my answer was not informative." 

Pausing to breathe deep, he continued. "Rowan, my child, you have been hurt greatly by the one you loved, and love may not come as easily as it did before. You and Donatello will both be put under great pressure before things stay calm."

"I know, Sensei, but I believe that Donatello can help me. I know that he will treat me well, as I'm sure you know." She said hastily.

Smiling, he nodded in her direction. "Are you both prepared for the sacrifices that will come from this relationship?" 

Together, they answered yes', causing both turtle and human to smile slightly.

Splinter looked at each in turn before finally spreading out his hands, giving his blessing, "Then do not forget that I will be here when you are needing guidance."

Donatello's heart started to beat wildly as he realized what his father meant, "Does that mean" Donatellos hand sought out Rowan's, grasping it as Splinter gave his answer.

"Yes my children, I approve."

Ever the conservative, Donatello bowed before his father before quickly leading Rowan out of the car after him. Even though they were just outside the door of his father's room, to Donatello it felt like there was just the two of them. Grabbing her _up _in a hug he spun her around. 

As Rowan felt his energy pouring off of him she felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. _Oh. there's that smile of his again!_ She grinned back madly as she reached up to bring Don's lips down to her own.

Charlie, who had been playing with Raph, noticed his mom and Don exiting Splinter's car. The boy had only one reaction.

."Ewwwwwyuck!"

TBC 


	2. Play Time

PLAY TIME

Note: _I own Rowan, Charlie and the plot. I do not own the turtles, Shakespeare or the funny Midsummer Nights Dream. Again, thank you to my beta reader, your help is much appreciated!_

~*~

Rowan sighed and fidgeted for the umpteenth time in her chair, feeling more and more like a student again in high school. She couldn't be sure, but she had a feeling that Donatello was enjoying being the teacher.

"Okay, now we're not going to have designated characters. We're just going to be taking turns with each one. I'll start us off with Theseus."

Picking up the book Don began reciting:

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"Now fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour 

Draws on apace. Four happy days bring in

Another moon. But O, methinks, how slow

This old moon wanes! She lingers my desires,

Like a step-dame or dowager,

Long withering out a young man's revenue."

Smiling, Don turned to his student who was staring at him with a baffled look on her face.

"What the heck was that? Isis that English?"

"Yes and no. All of Shakespeare's plays were written in iambic pentameter."

"Iambic pentwhataher?"

"Iambic pentameter. It'sokay, when Shakespeare was writing, in the back of his mind he had a beat that went with the words.like this. Da da Da da Da da. Now fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour."

Picking up the book Rowan read it again. She was still a little unsure, but began as Hippolyta, stopping at the last word of the part.

"I have no clue what this chicky is talking about! I mean, what does this mean? _Four days will quickly steep themselves in night?'_ Does she mean that soon day will turn to night?"

"Yes!" Don said, a little too loudly. Backing up he blushed a little. "I mean that you have an understanding of it; which is good."

"I still don't see why she just doesn't say it that way; but whatever. Is this how all Elizabethans talked back then?"

"No, Shakespeare wrote this way because it made for a good show. How about continuing and see how we do?"

~*~

__

" But herein mean I to enrich my pain, 

To have his sight thither, and back again." 

Closing the book Don moved over to Rowan. "And that is the end of the first scene. How did you like it?"

"I played a man for the rest of the scenebut you had all the long speeches, so I don't mind."

Laughing Donatello leaned in to give her a quick kiss before he excused himself for a minute. He left the car, leaving Rowan alone.

Suddenly, shouts could be heard coming in from what was dubbed the Living room'. Donatello had left the door of his car open, so Rowan could easily tell that the two who were fighting were Raphael and Leonardo. Standing up she moved to the door and watched as Raphael began to trade blows with his sturdier brother. 

There on the sofa watching television and completely ignoring what was happening sat Michelangelo with Charlie.

She didn't know the exact reason why Raph and Leo were fighting and truth was she didn't want too. Rowan spotted Donatello on his way back from the kitchen with two mugs of coffee. 

As Raphael was pushed back by Leo, he bumped into the purple clad turtle. 

Swaying on his feet, Don managed to save the coffee. "Hey! Can't you guys try to kill each other somewhere else?" 

"Yeah, well why don't you watch where you're going brainiac! Sheesh!" Raph growled sarcastically.

Ignoring the insult Don continued on his way to his room. He shut the door once they were inside, effectively cutting down the noise level to a whisper.

"Milk with one sugar right?"

Taking the cup offered, Rowan looked back at the closed door and was glad that she could no longer hear the fighting. But she wished suddenly that she could be back topside, safe in April's apartment. 

"Ro'? Rowan, is something wrong?"

"Huh?" Snapping back to reality, she turned towards Donatello. "Donnie, what were they fighting about?"

Shrugging, he took a seat; flipping through the play. "Who knows? Raph is always geared up for a fight and Leo is always there and knows how to deal with it."

"Does Raphael always pick a fight?"

"Pretty much, why?"

She took a cautious sip of the steaming coffee, "No reason. Are we done for today?"

Don watched her for a moment, knowing that she wasn't telling him something. He was about to comment on it, but stopped when Raphael barged into his room.

"Don, will you get that damn DVD to work?! It's been broke since Casey tried to fix' it! Sheesh, it's not like you have anything else to do!"

Watching him, and knowing he was still angry, Rowan felt herself moving to the back of the car and away from the hot tempered turtle. Irrational thoughts and memories were going through her mind.

Don tried to calm down his feisty brother. "I'll get to it later. I'm busy right now." 

Donatello watched unimpressed as Raphael threw his hands up in disgust. "You're always too busy'. Ya know, I think you like gettin' me upset."

Donatello sighed. "And why would I want to make you upset Raph? Do you think that's what I do in here day after day? Think up new ways to make you mad?"

Once Rowan was sure that Donatello was between her and Raphael she felt a safer. But when he advanced upon her boyfriend, she allowed a whimper to escape her lips unchecked. _He's going to hurt him! He must have been drinking, or something. Why is he doing this? I shouldn't have come hereI should go._

"Look Raph, will you just leave, please? I told you I'll have it fixed by tonight."

Slowly edging herself along the wall, Rowan started for the door behind Raphael. She was almost there when he spun around on his heels to leave and nearly bumped into her. Bringing her arms up to shield her face Rowan shrank back, whimpering. 

Donatello ran over to her in an attempt to calm her down while Raphael watched her react with a sick fascination.

"Rowan, I" Raph began as his anger dissipated and he realized what was happening to her. However he was interrupted.

"I'm sorry!" She cried out blindly, looking out from half closed eyes at the two turtles. Waves of regret and dread rolled over her and she squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to lock the tears in. Jake hated tears; they showed weakness_I can't cry! I won't cry!_

"What're you sorry for? You didn't do anything." Don asked softly, attempting to quell her sudden fears. Trying to approach her he realized it was counter-productive. She began to tremble the closer he came to her. "Hey, calm down, Raph's not going to hurt you."

Rowan watched as the two turtles began to draw nearer. _I'm sorry! What did I do? I need to leave; yes That's it, leave - I need to leave them. _

"I.I have to go." She whispered breathlessly. Turning she began to hobble out. Searching the spacious living quarters for her son, she found him with Michelangelo.

"Charlie, come on, we're leaving." Going over she hauled him up by his hand.

Mike watched the two of them; surprised.

"Hey, I thought you were gonna stay for supper?"

"Yeah mom, can't we stay?"

No, we need to get out of here! What was I thinking!

"No honey, we have to go. I forgot that I have a job interview this evening, and I need to go and get ready for it."

"Rowan, where are you going? What happened back there?" Donatello called out, quickly closing the distance between them.

Turning, she faced Donatello's worried look with one of panic. "I told you I was sorry, but I really need to leave. I have an interview that I forgot about." She pleaded silently with him. "Can I go?"

"What? Of course you can go, you know that." He replied, shocked.

Nodding her head, she turned with Charlie in tow and began for the exit ladder. She spotted Raphael watching her with clear concern and worry, but he knew better than to try and go to her.

"Mommy, are you mad at me?"

"No baby, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself."

TBC

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I haven't done this in a bit, so I decided to start up now.

Reader Reviews!!! Yay!

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Gummadoon Fanatic: I'm glad that you liked it, and sorry that it wasn't updated sooner.

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Rene: LOL, I thought so too! Hmm.I thought that I needed a Charlie' moment in here to lighten it up a bit. I'm really glad that you're enjoying the story, I like the budding relationship as well. Yea, as for Senpai I watch a lot of Anime with a friend on her computer and read Manga. And that's a common word used for teens talking about someone older like a high school teacher or friends parent. Although it's usually for someone you respect or secretly like.^_~.

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Pretender Fanatic: Another who loves the Rowan series.and to think, I originally wasn't even going to post it! ..looking back I'm glad I did. I think I went through like, 50 of those planes as a kid! As for the different writing style, that's thanks to my beta reader who has helped me figure out where I needed to elaborate and other things.like how to use the extras on Word!LOL, I'm not the best when it comes to computers..

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Ramica: I thought the task might have been big, but underneath it all, Raph is nothing but a big softie! At least when it comes to kids. 


	3. Picking Up the Pieces

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Picking up the Pieces

Note: I've come to realize that I've been writing and thinking an awful lot about the abuse Rowan has gone through, and that some readers out there have had a similar experience. I've decided to include three links to a self-help website for those who might have been abused or know of some one who is being abused, as I hate to admit it, I needed some of these websites myself. I hope that you can find solace in the friends around you and here on the net. You can find the links on my author info page.

Second Note: Since I turned 19 today (yea!!) And am now legalThis is my birthday girft from me to yousince I really like this chapter!! Hope you do too!

Disclaimers: I own Rowan, Charlie the plot. Laird owns the TMNT characters and a psychiatrist owns the websites.

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While watching television Rowan ignored the worried looks that both April and Casey would give her whenever she tried to hide her. Moving over and sitting beside the younger woman April took a deep breath before plunging into an argument that the two had been through before.

"Rowan, we know that it's hard, but you need to understand that you're not in this alone. You know we think that counseling would work, but you have to agree to it. Please, talk to me."

Slowly, and with what seemed to take a large amount of energy, Rowan turned her head toward April. April looked at the bloodshot eyes and tear streaked face that had replaced the cheerful woman ever since Charlie had been put in bed.

"April, I told you before, I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm beyond help, I mean, I ran from him. I knew that Don wouldn't hurt me, I know it, but I still ran. Just, leave me alone." She finished, her voice kept low to hide her emotions.

Sighing heavily, April stood up and moved down the hall closely followed by Casey. Shaking her head she tried to hide tears of her own, wishing beyond hope that there was more that she could do for her friend. Once alone in their bedroom Casey's anger at the dead husband came out.

"I don't understand it! How can a man do that to a woman and still be able to look at himself in the mirror?! Look at her April! She's afraid of her own shadow! I wish he were alive just so I could make him feel as much fear as she does!!"

April put a hand on his arm to calm him. "Case, keep your voice down, she'll hear you." When he sat down, visibly forcing himself to rein in his anger she continued. "I know what you mean, I hate him as much as you do, but it wouldn't do to get this riled up over a corpse! What's done is done; all we can do is to be here for her!"

Sitting down beside him, she placed her head on his shoulder, smiling as his arm went around her.

"I just wish there was more we could do." He lamented.

~*~ 

Leonardo came outside the kitchen. Sipping his tea he could hear a faint sound of Donatello clicking away at his computer. Listening outside the door for a second, he could hear a faint sniffle could barely be heard over the typing of the keyboard. Knowing he shouldn't, but worried about his brother he knocked.

The sound of the clacking didn't stop, but the sniffling did.

"Who is it?"

"It's me Don; can I talk to you for a second?"

"I guess."

Opening the door to the medium sized car, Leonardo stepped inside and viewed the surroundings for a moment. He noted that Rowans' mug was still on her desk' from the day before.

"Don, we're worried about you, you've holed yourself up again. Shouldn't you call Rowan and talk to her?"

Pushing his chair away from the desk, Donatello rubbed his eyes and looked up at his brother, "I wanted to do some research first; she needs someone who will understand what she's going through."

Leo glanced at the screen and saw that he was on a medical forum of some sort; words like rape and mental scarring and suicide were the first that caught his attention.

"I think what Ro' needs right now is to know that the one she cares for is there for her."

"It's not that simple oniichan, I need to be prepared. I _should_ have been prepared. But she never showed any signs of trauma since his death, and I foolishly believed that she might have been stronger than the memories." The purple banded turtle finished, moving back to the computer to glean more information from the board.

Leonardo knew that Donatello only called him big brother when he was at a loss. When the genius of the four had finally found something he didn't know how to fix, he would hope that Leo would have the answers.

Laying a hand on his shoulder, Leonardo began to assert his position as the eldest of the four.

"Don, listen to me, I know that you're worried about her, we all are. But stop and consider this for a moment. Don't you suspect that while you're down here, she's up there alone probably thinking that you might have seen her at her worst and is terrified of what you think of her now?"

His fingers froze over the keyboard, hovering there for a moment before he stood. His eyes lingered on the notebook beside the empty mug with a coffee ring around the bottom. The coiled book held information of triggers for buried memories, emotions, PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), and help for trauma victims. 

Leonardo saw Donatellos' lips move and he looked at him, thinking he said something to him, Leo asked him to repeat it.

"I'm scared Leo, I mean" Sighing he ran a hand over his head. "What am I doing, really? She's human and she deserves so much more than I can give her. She needs a boyfriend that can take her for walks in the park, show her that there's nothing to be afraid of anymore. She needs things that I as a turtle can't give her."

His leader watched him closely. "What do you mean by that? Are you saying that you don't want to be with her anymore?"

"No! No, but that's the thing, I want her to have the best of everything and I want to be there when she gets it."

Nodding, Leo moved toward the door. "I thought as much; you really should go to her. I think that's the best thing she could have right now."

Following suit, Donatello came outside his car; notebook in one hand and a jacket in the other.

"Yea, you're right, thanks."

Smiling, Leonardo watched his brother shrug on the long jacket.

"Oh, and Don...? Maybe you should mention that Raph wants to talk to Rowan when she feels better. He feels really bad over what happened."

Both hands on the rungs of the exit ladder, Donatello nodded. "I'll mention it, but tell him that she'll need some time away from him for a bit." He replied, beginning his ascent topside.

~*~

Rowan leaned forward to read the small print from the movie, only to find that it said something inconsequential. Flopping back into the soft cushions she watched again as Sean Connery kissed Catherine Zeta-Jones goodbye before getting off the elevator. She thought back wistfully to the first time she had been kissed, it had been sweet, passionate and yet, it had left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Rowan thought back to the time when her and Jake had made love, and shuddered. He had been her first, and hopefully her last. _If that's what sex felt like, I never want to feel that way again. _The feeling of shame crept forward from the back of her mind and Rowan was again reminded of how her body betrayed her.

Focusing in on the present around her, she watched the credits roll by on the dark screen**.** Looking at the watch on the inside of her left wrist, she took notice of how late it was. A knock on the door caused her to jump and grab a pillow, holding it against her chest for protection.

The knock came again, a little more forceful than before.

"Rowan? Ro' it's me, Donnie, please open the door."

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Donnie? Is it you? Slowly, with the pillow still in front of her, Rowan moved toward the door. As she looked out the peephole, the knocking stopped.

As she saw Donatello worriedly stare back through the small glass hole, she felt a glimmer of humor at how his appearance changed when he came closer.****The concave glass in the peephole made it seem like Donnie's eyes were bulging out at distorted angles, while his beak seemed to grow by leaps and bounds. Rowan couldn't contain her laughter. She giggled just a little; the first such expression she had felt in a while**_._**

"Rowan, pleasejust open the door."

Grasping the knob she turned it slowly, leaving the chain still on, she peaked out through the small gap it allowed.

"Don? What are you doing here; it's after one in the morning?"

Standing back to show that he meant her no harm he spread his hands out before him.

"Rowan, I thought that we should talk about what happened yesterday, so could I come inside? I promise I won't hurt you."

Still staring at him, her eyes darted around his face trying hard to see if there was any truth in what he was asking. 

"Ino Don, if you have something to say, I'd feel better if you said it from there."

Seeing his face crumple she was about to change her mind when he sat down, preparing to stay for a bit as he emptied out the contents of his knapsack. She watched him pull out a red coiled notebook and a few pages of printouts.

"What're those?" She asked, sticking her finger outside the door to point at what littered the hallway around him.

"They're for you; I came here to apologize about what happened the other day." He began to come closer but she removed her hand and threatened to shut the door.

****

  
Backing up he sighed. "Okay, I understand. Listen Rowan, what happened to you should never happen to anyone, but under terrible circumstances it did. I need you to try and understand that I'm here because I care for you a great deal"

"Do you love me?" She asked suddenly, cutting him off.

"What?" He couldn't see her face, only her legs showed from where she had sat down against the wall beside the door.

"Do you love me?" She repeated.

"Of course I do."

One eye peaked around the corner, "Say it then, if you mean it."

Taking the chance of having a door slammed in his face, he crawled over to it and looked Ro square in the eye.

"I love you Rowan Emerson."

She frowned, "Don't call me that. I hate that name!"

"What? Emerson?" 

"Yes, it's not my maiden name anyway. My maiden name is Freeman and I've decided to go back to it."

"Rowan Freemanit sounds nice, kind of exoticit suits you very well."

She smiled wanly, "Really? I always hated the name, but now I can't see myself as anything else."

He heard the wistful tone of her voice and wondered what kind of childhood she must have had to make her think that Jake was so much better.

"Ro'? Can I come in yet? I really don't want you to be alone." Donatello pleaded again.

Crossing her arms over her chest she turned her head away from the opening, wiping furtively at the tears that rolled down her freckled cheeks.

"I had a dream last night, after April had insisted on giving me that sleeping aid."

Don could tell that this dream was important from the soft tone and emotion in her voice.

"In this dream, you and I were out dancing in public, only we were in a night club for ballroom dancing. Hah, can you believe it; ballroom dancing in a techno night club?" She paused to laugh a bit at the memory before continuing. 

"Anyway, we were waltzing around the room in circles, and even though the place was very packed, it felt like we were the only two people in the room. Everyone gave us our distance, but not because of how you looked, but because they respected us."

Slowly, the turtle began to inch his hand through the door, resting it lightly on her small trembling one. Looking down at their hands she continued.

"You had your arms wrapped around me as we twirled and twirled all around the dance floor. Hmm. sometimes you would spin me around, and my back would end up against your chest and your hands would hold up my arms. And when I'd rest my head on your shoulder, you held me protectively." Rowan sighed reminiscently, "Never in any dream or reality did I ever feel such peace and did I ever feel so loved and safe. The people around us stopped and stared at how beautiful we were together, and the floor came alight with colors of orange, yellow and red outlined in an immense cross. And we were dancing in the center of it all."

Donatello felt pride well up inside of him at how her subconscious reacted to his love when her waking mind tried to refuse it.

"But then the lights went out and we kept dancing, ignoring all those around us. A man stood before me in the cross with a small bundle in his hands, I was the only one who could see him. You were oblivious to all but me and this man without a face sat the thing on the floor in front of me, and then vanished. As you pulled me into another dance, I glanced down at the package and saw that it was a bomb." 

His hand tightened on hers as her breath quickened, and her words came out more quickly, more scared.

"And the numbers ticked down faster than I could count, almost like it was fast forwarding. I tried to tell you, but you looked down and smiled as you dipped me down right beside it. It was then that it went off; killing us both." Her breathing came out in shuddering gasps, and she tried desperately not to start crying again, yet feeling weak when she couldn't stop the tears.

When he thought she was finished he attempted to calm her down.

"Ro' it's okay, it was only a dream. You don't have to worry, I'll protect you."

With a jerk Rowan pulled her hand out of his.

"Don't you see? This dream means that you will get hurt if you stay with me. I don't want you to be hurt Donnie! I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you or your brothers."

"Shh. nothing is going to happen, it was just a nightmare conjured up by a much stressed out mind." He waited for a response, but heard only sniffles and muffled sobbing. "Rowan, please open the door, let me in so I can help you."

He watched through the crack as she stood up. Using the wall for support she closed the door, allowing the chain to go slack so she could unlock it. Slowly, and with great care, Rowan opened the door again. When the door opened fully to the worried turtle, Rowan wasn't sure if she had done the right thing.

Enveloping her within his strong arms Don whispered promises to her, refusing to let her go when she tried to pull away.

"Don, please, you'll get hurt, I know it! Everyone I care for always ends up hurt."

"No, I don't care Ro'. Listen to me and believe me when I say this. I love you, and I will not abandon you over a dream, over past experiences or of those to come."

Allowing herself to be pulled into another hug, she looked down. Unsure if she was doing the right thing, but allowing Donatello to feel he had won the fight. 

"Just like a typical male, always has to have his own way." She said softly with a faint smile, causing Don to grin down at her.

~*~

In the bedroom, April shut the door quietly and returned to Casey who watched her worriedly.

"How are they?"

Settling down beside him, she lied back against him. "Still rough, but I think things are looking up."

"That's good, I would hate for 'gak' brain to lose his only girl." Casey stated with a chuckle.

"Sheesh, you're impossible Case, ya know that?" She replied good-naturedly, elbowing him in the stomach.

"Off.aww come on, you know that's why you like me." 

"No, I don'tremind me again."

Smiling like a little boy, Casey leaned over and gently kissed her.

"How was that?"

"Hmm," She paused, seeming to think it over. "Nope, I think I need more of a refresher."

"Oh yea?"

Grinning back, "Yea."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The End

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Reader Reviews!!! 

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Ramica: Yes, fighting is never good, but when it involves Raphael and Leonardo, it can be terrible someimes Hope you liked the last chapter!

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Gummadoon Fanatic: Hah, I agree, I think that Raph needs to look into Anger Management or something!

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Snowfire the Kitsune: I hope the woman is feeling better, and noit's never easy to see someone revert to such a stateI knnow it's been a while, but I'm glad you all were patient. Oh, and I hope you get your mischief back ^_^.

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Pretender Fanatic: Hey, I actually heard that song for the first time a bit after reading this reviewbut it is a really good song! I don't think it's by Nellymaybe some one elseI know what you mean about songs! Sometimes I can only write to a spefic song myself! LOLAs for subconscious memories, they usually come out at inopurtune momentsAs for painting myself in a corner.I hope I didn't do it with this one!I've been known to do that, and end up kicking myself when I find out ^_^;;;

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Rene: Flashbacks are a b*t*ch, and I'm glad that I was able to protray it the right way, thank you for the commenthope you liked this chapter! 


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